There is an army acronym that chaplain’s aren’t ever suppose to say, so I will just allude to it. It means messed up beyond all repair. If you have been around army folk for more than about a day, I am sure you have heard it. On the phone a couple of days ago my wife said to me, "You aren’t coming home that way are you?"
I laughed at her and asked her if she had been watching too much news again. We get the news here. I know the general population is hearing in a variety of ways that soldiers are coming home from Iraq screwed up, messed up and generally changed in a negative way. I know the vast majority of people evaluate hardship by the standard of depreciation. I got it. What did it cost me? How have I changed? What are the negative impacts on my life? What Line of Duty injuries did I suffer? This being the primary metaphor for thinking about loss leads us to only one conclusion….that of diminishing returns.
If you are in a military family, waiting at home for your soldier, or a soldier about to return home, let me give you some advice. Turn your bullcrap meter on and leave it on for a while. There are a lot of "voices of diminishing return." Do yourself a favor and challenge their logic, their opinion, their historical perspective and their knowledge about you. The outcome of this deployment is not predetermined in your life. Judge for your self what it’s impact is one you, you are the only subject matter expert on YOU!
Think about your life, the life of your parents, the life of your grandparents and our nation. When we have gone through tough times in the past was the effect always negative? Has the "law of diminishing returns" been a historical fact in your life, or in the life of our nation? No, it has not. Rather, with adversity comes strength. Trouble yields the path to triumph and heartache gives way to hallelujahs. This has been true since time begin. It is true today. And it will be true tomorrow.
So dearest wife, "No, I am not coming home messed up beyond all repair, neither are the people I serve with. I am coming home the same way I left. I am coming home ready to transform into what ever life demand of me. I am coming home to serve you, my family, my nation, my God. But, most importantly I am coming home to continue mission." And mission is this, "Love the Lord your God with all your might, and your neighbor as your self." Rather than the "law of diminishing returns" try this one on for size. It is the "law of love."
Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. If you leave home for a week on a brief vacation it seems like it takes two weeks to get back on schedule. You guys haven't been on a vacation and you have been gone a long time. Give yourselves an adjustment time and slow down for a bit then gradually get back into the routine.
For the parents if their son had been in college and came home after a year he would be different. He has been gone for over a year in a combat area, he probably will be a different than the kid that left. Different doesn't mean broken. Give him time to adjust to being around civilians and being home.
Give yourself time to get to know each other again. We're all looking forward to you coming home.
Posted by: S. | June 16, 2007 at 07:24 AM
I'm familiar with the acronym you shouldn't use. :) Thanks for the time you've put in these blogs during this deployment. I've really appreciated them. My best to you, your soldiers and your families on your redeployment. Praying that all goes well and thank you all for your service - 'speshly that unexpected extended time.
Posted by: MissBirdlegs in AL | June 16, 2007 at 08:29 AM
Dear Pastor,
Happy Father's Day! It is good to hear that you are stronger than those in the media, but then again, that wouldn't take too much, would it? lol. I stopped watching TV years ago. Especially the dinosaur news. :)
Have a wonderful day, and may God bless you.
Posted by: Rawsense2004 | June 16, 2007 at 02:55 PM
Yep, happy father's day!!!
Hang in there.... not much longer now. We're all so proud of you, your soldiers, and your families!!! :)
Posted by: Kat in GA: A Soldiers' Angel | June 16, 2007 at 03:59 PM
As a wife, that had a lot of anxiety over a reintergration after an 18 month separation due to deployment.
The anxiety, although REAL...well it turns out I just had so many expectations for myself, that I was wanting the PERFECT reunion etc.
Ladies, I promise he will not notice if the blinds have been scrubbed, or curtains taken down washed and pressed...
They just want to be home....
and I promise you will be the prettiest thing he has seen in months...
Posted by: armywifetoddlermom | June 16, 2007 at 06:33 PM
Trackbacked by The Thunder Run - Web Reconnaissance for 06/18/2007
A short recon of what’s out there that might draw your attention.
Posted by: David M | June 18, 2007 at 09:38 AM
OhM Posted on Dd and I just tried this! (It was a rceipe in a fairy book.)Let's just say rubbing alcohol with peonies doesn't work any better.At least we didn't ignite anything. :)
Posted by: Joselin | February 22, 2012 at 01:19 AM