The Online Chaplain

Writer’s Block

WRITERS BLOCK.  I never knew what this means until recently.  Now, I got it.  In fact, when you look it up in the dictionary it probably has a picture of me.  I can not count how many times I have sat down to write something and after an eternity of mental hoops sat back and said, "Got Nothing."  So, instead of sitting here whining about how I am letting my blog readers down I decided to write about it. 

The "writers block" hasn’t been completely unfruitful.  I have heard from readers on four continents to date.  "Chaplain, you OK?"  I didn’t know there were so many people paying attention.  Made me feel good.

To answer the question, "Yeah, I am OK?"  In fact, I am better than Ok.  We are in the bottom of the ninth inning and my team here in Iraq is hitting the ball consistently.  I have the had the joy of watching leaders mature and temper their God-given strength with compassion, understanding and charity.  We are bringing America a gift when we return.  Young soldiers, battle hardened, tough, capable with a deep understanding of self-sacrifice.  I am proud to have been a part of it.

But, the fact remains I have now been deployed for 561 days.  Most of those days have been in combat.   My get up and go has "gotten up and left."  I am now officially tired "from the inside out."   It is showing up in "writers block."  There are other symptoms too.  I have "stupid crap block".  When I see "stupid crap" I want to "knock the crap" out of some "stupid crap."  Thus, "stupid crap block."   

I have spent the month analyzing this phenomenon.  Here is what I have come up with.  This is familiar ground.  I hear about it all the time.  The mother in Minnesota who has spent the last 21 months giving birth to her third child, caring for her toddler, and getting her five year old ready for kindergarten, what does she have?  Diaper block?  Or, how about the person who every day gets up and goes and faithfully does the job they hate.  What do they have?  Employment block?

Not only do I hear about it all the time.  I have been here many times before.  I remember enough about the past twenty years to remember this.  I have been tired before.  I know what happens, now.  It has happened every single time, without fail in my life.  It is one of the constants. It’s coming and I can see it on the horizon.  REST

I am not the only one who needs to rest, and I refuse to internalize the symptoms of war, compassion fatigue, or think that my "give a crap" o-meter is somehow eternally misaligned.  Bottom line is simple: I’m tired.  Perhaps, you are too.  So, hear the word of the Lord in simple, straight up terms.  It is neither, difficult or complicated.  It is simple.  "Come unto me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest."

As I write this it is 2200 (10:00PM) the sun has set one more time and I am sitting on my deck smoking a cigar.  And I feel better than I did an hour ago.  Guess what I feel?  REST!  I pray you do too.  If not now, soon!  It will come.  Trust the promise.   

God's Message is in the Timing

I just got back from the United States.  I was at a school.  So, for the second year in a row I flew into Iraq on Easter.  Wow.  Now, I learned long ago that God seldom shows up and gives me a spiritual neon news flash.  I don’t often have visions or prophetic words.  Words of knowledge and divine intervention in my life are things I dream about, but rarely encounter.  By in large, the things I have learned about God have come to me by the sweat of my brow.  However, I have noticed….  God is often in the timing of things.  So, flying into Iraq on Easter two years in a row – coincident?  I don’t think so.  Therefore, I propose this hypothesis concerning the timing of my subsequent arrivals to theatre. 

There is a human tendency to evaluate the resurrection of Jesus Christ in economic terms, As in, “What’s the payoff? What’s in it for me?”  We look at the resurrection of Jesus not for the truth in it, but for the cashback bonus attached to it.  This mentality is fundamentally flawed.  Not to say there is not a bonus.  There is!  The resurrection of Jesus Christ is the Mother of all Events.  Easter ushers into our life the divine payoff of eternal life, for those who believe.  But, this is only part of the picture.

Easter puts us on heavenly golden streets when we die, what it does not do is put us on easy street while we are here.  It just doesn’t.  We want Easter to symbolize the delivery of our silver spoon, our BMW, our six figure income and our “don’t worry, be happy” life.  It’s not what God had in mind Christians, get over it.

Easter, these past two years, complete with C-130’s, Humvee’s, RPG’s, Mortars and Blackhawk Helicopters have reminded me of a truth.  Easter comes not to usher us on to easy street, but to put us in harms way.  It comes proclaiming the divine truth, “Christ has risen.  He has risen, Indeed.”  Psssst.  Now get to work.  Easter puts us in harms way.  It is God’s divine and eternal access point to come and mess in our stuff. 

And mess he does.  God shows up and says, “Hey chaplain, see that big ugly soldier with the impossible difficulties.  You know the one who single-handedly will suck up all your energy, strength, and resources.  Go see what you can do for him.”  You gotta be kidding?  Now, for you God may not show up and say, “Join the army.”  But, God shows up for you in other ways and says…

…The rotten boss seemingly living for the joy of making your life miserable.  Love him.
…The spouse who had an affair, who you wonder if you can ever trust again.  Start rebuilding the marriage, put them first, repair the breech.
…The habit that you just can’t seem to beat.  Try again.

The resurrection of Jesus Christ places you right square in the center of “harms way.” It has mission written all over it.  So, who are you helping these days?  How much are you sweating?  Are you walking the walk or are you just talking the talk? 

This is what I learned on Easter, again.  Alright God, I got the message.  Really, I got it.  I DO NOT NEED TO REPEAT THE LESSON.  Harms way, Roger that.  Lord, next Easter lets be carving a ham back in Minnesota.  Pleeeease. 

Numbered Days

Let me tell you, the 1/125 knows about numbered days.  This is the month we were set to go home.  But, we are not.  We are continuing our mission for 125 more days.  The nation says they need us so we drive on.  That is what soldiers do, that is what soldier families do.  But, it is not with out cost.

In the last month I have listened to countless stories of how "re-numbering of days" affects the families of soldiers.  The uniqueness of their sacrifice has been eye opening.  I can’t begin to tell you who is hardest hit.  Each soldier has just a little different twist on their unique flavor of sacrifice. 

As I "re-numbered my days" there is a verse from the Old Testament that has become very helpful.  Deut. 33:25 says, "The bolts of your gates will be iron and bronze, and as your days are numbered, so shall your strength be."  I am forty three years old.  I have seen a lot in my lifetime.  Mostly good, but also a myriad of dark days.  These dark days have taught me a great deal.  Specifically, that there is always enough strength.  Always!  But, here is  what is different…

Most of my life God has banked a three to six month reserve of strength with in me.  The extension and the violence of our area of operation has depleted my reserves.  Honestly.  I know that I am not a lone voice here.  We are no longer going month by month, or even week by week.  We are going minute by minute.  One minute’s strength gone, here is enough for the next and the day continues.  It has been this way since David Berry was killed last week, and eight of our soldiers wounded. 

So, here is my question, "Do you have enough faith for when the reserves are gone?"  Do you have enough faith when the well is empty, the checkbook empty, or even the heart is empty?  Can we or can we not trust God at these times?  All of my experience and all of my training has taught me, "YES".  You can not out spend the reservoirs of God’s strength.  Minute by minute it comes and minute by minute you go forth, in faith.  And because the giver is so faithful, so committed, so steadfast in his commitment to you, you need not fear.  So shall your strength be.

David and Goliath

If you attended ten minutes of Sunday School growing up you probably know the story of David and Goliath.  That story is the peanut butter and jelly of Sunday School.  It's a staple.  It's got every thing, action, war, underdog, the good guy wins.  Everything!

Remember the story, David, a punk kid has to go and check on his brothers.  When he gets there he finds his brothers, and the entire Hebrew army are being mocked by an overgrown, steroid sucking Neanderthal named Goliath.  David, little ol' David goes up against the big guy with his sling and knocks his LIGHTS OUT, and then cuts his BLOCK OFF.  Pretty exciting stuff.

But what is really exciting is not David's aim, it is his speech.

1Sam 17:45 David said to the Philistine, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the LORD will hand you over to me, and I'll strike you down and cut off your head. Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. 47 All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands."

He's a windy little sucker.  Cocky and arrogant with a healthy ego - no doubt.  Kind of like a kid I used to know.  But, also completely on the money as to where to put his trust.  He mentions but one thing about his giant.  He says,

"You come against me with sword and spear and javelin."

He goes up against the biggest, toughest man of his era and he kind of nods in his direction.  Nothing more.  David's focus is on something else, or someone else, God.  David's language is clear, his focus crystal.  "I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, he will hand you over to me, I'll strike you down and cut off your head, the whole world will know there is a God in Israeland that he saves, it is his battle and he will give you into our hands."  One thing about Goliath, eight things about God.  Hmmmm.

There in lays the lesson.  I think we spend way too much time telling God about all the giants in our life and the lives of whom we care about.  Way to much time.  I'm changing my ways, my conversation, and my ratio's.  It's time to quit telling God about my giants and start telling my giants about God!  God is bigger than giants.  Seriously, he is.

I know the names of your giants.  Cancer, loneliness, despair, anger, addiction, hopelessness, abuse, war, hatred, disease.  I know there names.  I have seen how they stand on the battle field of your life and mock you.  I have seen them come against you with sword and spear and javelin.  And I saw you give up the battle field.  I have seen you tuck tail and run.  I have seen it, and recognized it well, because occasionally it shows up in my mirror too.  I have a word for you, for us.

Stand fast.  Hold the ground.  Quit focusing on the giant, start focusing on your God.  Giants come, giants go, but God is with you always.  Fight your battle in the name of the LORD Almighty, know that he will hand your giant over to you.  You will know that there is a God and that he saves.  It is his battle and he will give your giant into your hands.  He did it for a shepherd boy and now he is going to do it for you. 

So, take the five smooth stones that God has supplied you with: his peace, his power, his presence, his purpose, his promise, and get back into the battle.  After all, your going to win.

Out of the Mouth's of Babes

About two weeks ago my seven year old and I were talking on the phone.  He asked me the question of the month, “Dad, are you going to be home for Christmas?”  I said, “I’m sorry buddy, but, I have to stay here in Iraq and take care of soldiers.”  There was a moment pause and then my angelic little seven year old blurted out, “Daaaamn it!”  Yep, my little innocent pastor’s kid who has faithfully had his mouth washed out with soap for these little indiscretions cussed, like an old farmer.

I acted immediately, “Buddy, quickly hand the phone to your mom.”  You see I knew his normally mild mannered mother was moving the moment those words left his mouth.  The matriarch of my clan has zero tolerance for a foul mouth.  Zero!  I knew the first thing to come into her mind when the pristine quiet of her home was violated was “I brought him into the world and now I am going to take him out.”  So, if I was going to save my youngest I had to act quickly, “Buddy, quick hand the phone to your mom.”  By the tone of her voice I knew my instincts were correct.

I just said one thing at that moment and we both realized the truth of it.  “Honey, he shouldn’t be disciplined for saying what all of us were thinking.  O.K???”  There was a long pause and then I heard the fire in my beloved subside.  She said, “OK.” 

Well, we are through the holidays and my little boy said it best.  Yep, being away from your family during the holidays sucks, it just does.  And it is alright to say so.  Too often we think the Christian way, or even the best way is to paint a smiley face on loss and march on.  We mistake Christianity with Pollyannaism.  However, a theologian of the cross, calls a thing what it is.  That which is difficult is a trial.  That which is painful brings sorrow.  There are real tragedies, real pain, real sorrow and loss to deal with in this world and a fresh coat of paint is not helpful.  It is what it is.  And thanks to my seven year old for naming it.

However, there is another truth of equal importance.  It is the truth about God.  Right in the midst of our loss stands Jesus calling to us saying, “You who are heavy laden come to me and I will give you rest.”  Right in the middle of our sorrow stands Jesus with a promise of strength saying, “As your days are numbered so shall your strength be.”  Every loss, every sorrow, every pain bears the fruit of hope.  Romans 5:3 says, “Suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope.  Hope does not disappoint us.” 

So, what is healthiest for us?  What is it that God would have us do with the sorrow of our lives?  The Christian way is to name the pain and name the gain.  We stand in the sorrow so we might name the victory.  Even in this place away from family there were great gifts.  On Christmas Night I sat on my porch with five Christian brothers smoking cigars.  We agreed on this, “I wouldn’t go through this again for anything, but I wouldn’t have missed for the world.” 

Whatever your loss is right now, name the pain and name the gain.  In the midst of your sorrow you will find peace and strength.  In the midst of your pain suffering you will find hope.  You are not alone.  I promise.

theonlinechaplain

Christmas at War

Alright, it’s here.  In three days we will be celebrate Christmas.  The holiday synonymous with family gatherings, singing carols, going to church together and being a family.  So, how do you handle the holidays when you are at war?  Here are some tips…

1. Celebrate the fact you are not alone.  As alone as we may feel from time to time we are not.  We are here with a team.  We have battle buddies, friends, and a host of people here that are a “family away from family.”  Not only do we have the presence of some very great people, we also have the promise of God.  In the worlds of Jesus, “I will be with you always…”

2. Celebrate the deferred Christmas gift you are about to receive.  I believe I am about to get the best Christmas present of my whole life.  Here it is!  I will never again be able to take Christmas for granted.  I will never again be able to have even a small bit of “bah humbug.”  I will never again be able to ignore the greatness of this event.  After this Christmas every Christmas that is to follow will be a treasure. 

3. Remember that the truth about Christ’s birth can not be diminished by time or circumstances.  Jesus is still sending his spirit, his angels and coming personally to say, “I bring you glad tidings of great joy…”  Christ came two thousand years ago and he has never stopped entering the world, and hearts, even yours.

The character of a person can be measured by how they handle trials.  You can measure them by the sacrifices you are called to make, or by the blessings you are going to receive.  The latter is the better path.  We can do this.  "I bring you good news of great joy, for unto you this day in the city of David is born the Messiah."

Merry Christmas.  Christ is born.  Alleluia 

Soldier Families

A lot is said about the character of the american soldier by the media.  But, not so much is mentioned about the character of the families of american soldiers.  Perhaps, here is where the credit lies.  The following comes out of the Kentucky National Guard, a portion of which is deployed with the 1BCT to Iraq.

Last week one of our soldiers tradgically died.  His memorial ceremony is today 16DEC06.  When the Casualty Assistance Officer (CAO) made initial contact with the soldier's 17 year old son, he expressed his condolences to the young man and began to tell him the initial information of what a CAO will do for him and his family. The son sat and listened intensely. When asked if he had any questions, the first question out of the young man's mouth was, "How do I enlist." He said that his dad had answered the call and God had taken him to a better place. He said he felt it was time for him to step up and take his Dad's place.

How about that! Faced with the death of his father, his concern and drive was to take the place in the ranks that his Dad had vacated and continue to fight for the freedom of people he does not know.  His comments were not only a tribute to his family, but a tribute to humanity. 

Thank you to Major John Cline - KYARNG for sharing this with us.

Lost Voice

Sometimes you lose your voice.  A number of years ago I stood before my congregation and I recited the Words of Institution for Holy Communion.  “Christians, in the night in which he was betrayed our Lord took bread, and gave thanks, broke it and gave it to his disciples saying…”  I had said these words for a decade in hundreds of situations but on this particular morning…I had no cotton picking idea what Jesus said after he broke that bread.  Awkward moment doesn’t begin to describe the feeling.

So, I decided to take another run at it.  “Christians, in the night in which was betrayed our Lord took bread, and gave thanks, broke it and gave it to his disciples saying…”  Yep, you guessed it.  Still got nothing!  The elevator is going to the top floor of the building of memory, but I just can’t get the dang doors to open.  The congregation is now deeply anxious for their pastor and visibly shifting in their seats trying to figure out how to save him from himself.

Now, lesser men would have given up at this point.  Not me, I had one more try in me.  So, “Christians, in the night in which he was betrayed our Lord took bread, and gave thanks, broke it and gave it to his disciples saying…”  Still got nothing!  Zip!  Nothing!  Goose Egg!  Skunked!  So, I did what any self respecting preacher would do.  I said, “Oh for Pete’s sake.”  I don’t know who Pete is, but I know he was laughing his butt off at me on this Sunday morning.  I finally opened up the Lutheran Book of Worship and I read the words.  When I was done the congregation applauded.

Sometimes you lose your voice.  Recently, for reasons I am not sure of I haven’t had much to write about.  Words didn’t flow, ideas didn’t germinate and I simply have not produced much.  C’mon if you are a regular on theonlinechaplain.com you were glad you didn’t have a subscription.  You would have wanted a refund, me too.

We all lose our voice from time to time.  Soon, thousands of soldiers will return to the United States with a serious case of laryngitis.  I for one am going to leave the memories of this place behind.  I am guessing I will follow in the tradition of my grandfather.  When I am old, I will tell a few family members so they can understand the costs paid by so many.   Until then, if it will leave me alone I want to leave it alone.

I am not overly concerned about this verbal affliction.  Frankly, it has been my experience people do understand.  I have received hundreds of affirmations from friends, family and strangers this past year.  Despite the politic aspects of the war, American’s stand behind their soldiers with a dedication I had never witnessed before. 

And I also know there is someone to speak for me and all other soldiers.  As soldiers we have voluntarily marginalized ourselves.  We have said we would go where others can not, we will do what others are not able too.  For the sake of our country and the principle of duty we have willfully and knowingly marginalized ourselves – lost our voice. 

But, we are not in any way left silent.  Though we may not choose to speak we have a spokesperson.  We have an ambassador, a compatriot who has been with us through every step of this deployment.  He was there for every struggle, every divorce, every birth, every death and every injury.  He understands where we have been because he walked beside us through out the long days and nights.  He speaks for us when we have lost our voice and represents us when we are cast aside.  Christ Jesus has always, always… had a fondness for the marginalized.  His own words, “I came not for the healthy, but the sick”, his own words, “I came for the lost”, reveal his prejudice.  In his own words, “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

-theonlinechaplain- 

For You

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
          Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.
                         One died for your soul;
                      the other for your freedom.

Just a reminder for us to all live a life worthy of the sacrifice.

Be Ready

I hate it when the mortars come in during the night.  I think we all do.  I have lived through four teething children, heard the kids knocking at the door and awaken to them hurling in the hallway,  and been a resident manager at a college so I am accustomed to being awaken in the middle of the night.  But, mortars and rockets coming in – there is no getting used to this.  But, there is a lesson in everything.

The other day I came back to my room after being gone all morning.  This was the picture I saw.  Each night I stretch the laces of my tennis shoes as far as I can get them, stretch the tongues forward and put them in the middle of my room.  Reason:  If I need to get into them fast I can.  The bible says, “Stand firm then, ….with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.”
      O.K God I hear your question!
      “Chaplain, are your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace?” 
      I reply, “Yes, Lord.  Well, I think so.  But, just for the record, what exactly am I suppose to be ready for?”
      Biblical Answer/God’s Answer: “be ready to do whatever is good…”
     
A fundamental characteristic of the Christian is our effort to stand at the ready.  We are to be prepared in season and out of season.  We are to be watchful at all times looking for the good we might do.  We are to understand our environment and apply the gospel of peace where ever it is needed.    Emotionally, physically, spiritually and intellectually we are to live with our laces pulled back, ready to do good.  Ready to move at a moments notice!    

If this is our mission… “Lord, help me to be ready.  Show me those in need.  Help me to see their pain, hear their struggles and give them the gospel of peace you have so freely given to me.  Lord, give me your eyes, your ears, your heart to do your work.  Lord, help me be ready.”